(In retrospect, the title of this blog posts suggestively seems like something you'd see on the cover of Men's Health magazine, or in large colourful letters across the cover of a porn DVD. But, never mind.)

I feel like I'm being pulled in more directions at once, with many sub-directions pulling away at those main directions. Work, special projects, studies, other commitments, relationships, personal tasks... and even, time for myself, if I'm lucky. The running joke is that at work, the aim is to "stretch" you so far till you're at that point of breaking. I wonder if I'll break or if I'll bounce back all springy like a new rubber band. Or like Elastigirl from The Incredibles. (Maybe I'll have damn a lot of stretch marks like a woman after pregnancy. That sucks.)

I'm being expected to divide myself into so many sections, and sub-sections. So what happens when you do division with a big denominator? (Sorry, I was a bit of a math buff back in school - remember how we used to do 'pecahan' during Maths? The denominator is the bottom number.)

1 / 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 = something friggin small. Zero point zero zero zero.... something.

One me divided by a bajillion commitments and responsibilities = Well... tired.

That's one equation that ain't too fun solving.

When it's two-three weeks away from exams, it's not fun turning down invitations to go shopping, dinners, yum-chas, or constantly clocking up the hours in my head, thinking that if I go, I have that much less time to study or to recharge myself. Or hurriedly packing up to leave at 6 p.m. on the dot, under your bosses' noses because every less minute spent inching in rush hour, is one more minute for me to unwind or... study somemore. 

It's selfish, but I think I'm going to have to be selfish for awhile. At least until my denominator gets a little smaller.