Beautifully Imperfect.

I swear the world hates me.

Nothing, and I repeat, nothing has been going right since Monday. Talk about starting the semester off on the wrong foot.

First thing Monday morning, I trip on an uneven piece of parquet and slice off skin the size of a 5 cent coin off the sole of my right foot. If you think 5 cent is small, try tripping yourself. Hurts like a bitch.

Fine. Happens to me all the time. You can't really avoid tripping when you're as clumsy as I am. Hopped around looking for a plaster, grabbed my stuff and left for ridiculously early Company Law class.

But no, it doesn't just stop there. Because of some rally shit, and roadblocks due to that, the LDP was at a snail's pace thanks to the turn-off before the cable bridge to the Federal Highway. Gee, thanks, political happenings. Not only is it not fun to drive at a pace slower than that of a turtle's, it's even worse accelerating and braking every second with a bleeding foot that has lost a 5 cent coin sized piece of skin.

So fine, thanks to that, I was twenty minutes late for first day of class.

Got stuck in another jam for an hour on the way home again and nearly starved to death. The biggest blow of all was when I realised that my computer wouldn't switch on again. Fucking hell. That was it. I had really fucking had it by then. I'd just changed the fucking motherboard two weeks ago and now it's probably fried again. Fuck tropical monsoon rain and fuck useless lightning arresters. Had to buy a new modem too yesterday, but then, for some reason, the wireless works on everybody else's laptops in the family but mine. Still won't work, and I. am. bloody. pissed.

Was another twenty minutes late for lecture yesterday due to an appointment running late, and then found out that the first major assignment is due two or three days after my birthday, with the first minor assignment due next week. Wtf.

And yes, the icing on the cake is that the stupid niggling dry cough for the past week has turned into something more full-fledged now.

There have been the other little things the past two days as well, but honestly, if I list them all down, I probably won't feel any better. I'm still bloody annoyed.

Oh, and if you want to tell me I'm being a baby about this all, or want to give me some useless advice? Don't bother. I've been told I'm really not a nice person when I'm pissed.

So yes, I don't remember a time when I've been in a foul-er mood. The rest of the semester better not be like this.

Spending everyday in the library is not cool. Granted, I don't stay until 11 pm like Josh, Andrew, Bryan and some of the others do sometimes, but I reach early and by 5 pm, I can't help but feel like a lot of energy has been zapped out of me.

Stupid life-sucking, energy-depleting library.

The more I study, the more I feel like I've gotten myself into a big, big disaster. Accounting. Finance. Not me. People who know me well enough will tell you that it's just not me. Great, third year and I'm just only finding this out for myself.

Right now, I just want that damn degree. And making myself not worry about what's to come after that. I'll figure out what the hell I want to do with my life after that.

So if all I want is the degree, to show for something, then technically my grades don't matter much, do they? Maybe I should start aiming lower.

A credit isn't bad. I've had credits before. I just don't want to fail. Dammit at the rate I'm going, I'll take a P.

I don't even know how I'm going to get through the 13th, and then my three day killer back-to-back madness.

Ah Ma had shingles for a month, and couldn't get out of bed. Finally, she got better, and was up and about and then had a bad fall in the house. This morning, she complained of having chills and trouble breathing and dark bruises appeared on her leg. She was brought to the hospital this afternoon and will be staying there for observation. I'm worried.

A friend is going through rough patches and I hate to see that.

I cannot break down now. I'll get through this even if it kills me to.

18th June. I will get to you, get rid of you and still emerge major-ly awesome. Might have a few battle scars to show for the fight I put up, but that's nothing a few good nights out and some quality rest and relax cannot erase. Heh. It's not in my nature to not be optimistic, so that's what I'm sticking to. Hey, it's worked for nineteen years so far.

So yes, it WILL be okay. Wendy say one.

I'll miss the absolutely crazy weather which hails in the midst of a bright and sunny afternoon, rains all through our Great Ocean Road weekend and turns completely sunny the day after, and all its ups and downs - there's no doubt that Melbourne's is really ruled by Mother Nature, PMS and what not. Strange, but I'll miss it.

I'll miss going to Coles in Caulfield Plaza right after class to pick up a few little things for dinner, and end up looking through rows and rows of stuff and buying things the house actually doesn't need. I'll miss knowing where everything is, exactly.

I'll miss walking through Koornang Road, which is five minutes away from my house - all the little shops and cafes. I remember the first time I went there with Serena; we were so awed.

I'll miss just walking to the train station, and taking the Pakenham or Cranbourne line to the city, and getting off at Melbourne Central, and exiting to Swanston Street. Little things like that. I'll miss catching the bus to and fro work. The tram noises.

I'll miss the colourful stuff in Cotton On Body, and Nicole, one of the coolest managers I've had, along with some of the fun girls I've worked with. And obviously, my 30% discount for Cotton On.

I'll miss Krispy Kreme. Sob.

I'll miss running over to Serena's room to share new gossip, settling myself comfortably on her bed and bitching till the cows come home, and her cooking, and how she always walks around the house smelling like Body Shop and looking super comfy in her cute pyjamas, and basically just having her around nearly 24/7.

I'll miss going out in the kitchen to complain and grumble to Yao, and have her hug me, and put her arm around my shoulder and make a silly joke. I'll miss her broad repertoire of expressions that never fail to make all of us laugh.

I'll miss teasing Mel and her laughter and how her face lights up whenever I say that Heroes has completed downloading and her laughter that never ceases to stop and how she always sits in the living room with me watching whatever reality tv show that's on.

I'll miss telling Zhen Han to take out the trash every Thursday night, sometimes more than once, and having him around to kill whatever insect (or mouse) there is in the house, and having him around so that I can ask him to fix whatever computer problem I have.

I'll miss Haruka, the new housemate, even though I've only known her for about less than a month because she's so funny and nice and all of us gelled immediately.

I'll miss Adam sleeping on our couch every Saturday morning and tiptoeing through the living room as to not wake him up.

I'll miss Tricia so badly because only she could've made those crazy four hour lectures bearable, I'll miss spending every single Thursday lunch with her at Uzu without fail, with our sushi and takoyakis. And how we'd always know what the other was going to order, because we're predictable like that. And come on, who else would've came up with McPiya with me?

I'll miss Caryn and doing all sorts of spontaneous, crazy things with her on the spur of the moment. Probably only she would've went "Okay, I'll go with you" after I called her and went "Hey, uh, do you wanna go for the Snow Patrol concert tomorrow?" at 10:30 pm the night before. And nobody else would've been as crazy about footy with me either. :(

I'll miss Vaida, because she's possibly the sweetest Australian I've ever met throughout these months, and how she's always so genuinely interested in whatever I have to say.

I'll miss Jasmine's incredibly contagious laughter and the fact that the both of us can find stupid random things like "Mmm-hmmmm" to be impossibly hilarious.

I'll miss the guys and how we always end up doing the most ridiculous things ever. Like you know, season 1, 2 and all that shit. Lol. And how they can bitch and gossip with the best of us. I will not, however, miss them calling me mak cik -_-"

I'll miss the crazy Tax Law gang/Gold Coast gilas because they made long tax law Wednesdays so bearable, and Gold Coast one of the best holiday experiences in my life - Jo, Alicia and Jiayi. <3 style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">adrenaline rushes of hearing tens of thousands of people cheering on their footy team in the MCG, and screaming my lungs hoarse and jumping up and down when my team scores, and humming the Collingwood anthem under my breath randomly, and seeing people in the streets being so hyped up about footy.

I'll miss the daily walks to campus, the routine that's become such a big part of my life. Passing the same old empty plot of land, Evancourt Motel, the Mews, the creepy-looking building, and then the dentist.

I'll miss the courteous drivers who always give way to the pedestrians. And how I always feel so safe walking about.

I'll miss listening to the easy-going Aussie accent, and the "How're you goin'?"s and the "See ya later"s. I'll miss how people are just so freaking friendly and nice over here.

I'll miss the friendly Italian guy at the C&B who always gives me extra pasta and calls me "Luv" and compliments me on my English every single time.

I'll miss this house, and my comfortable room which I've made my own this year. It's looking so empty right now, and so unlike what I've been used to.

I'll miss all the road trips we've been on this year, because it was just all good times. No matter what we did, or where we went. Good times.

I'll miss just walking down the city streets, knowing where all the good shopping spots and restaurants are, and waiting for the little man on the pedestrian light to turn green, before crossing on over to the next street.

I'll miss the comfortable lecture theatres and how I've become so familiar with the Caulfield campus and the really good lecturers here who really talk to you, instead of talk down to you like back home.


I'll miss everything there is to miss about Australia and more, my home sweet home away from home.



But.



I miss my dad eagerly showing me his newest purchases, be it from Tesco, the market, pasar malam or his newest gadget that he probably won't know how to use, and how he always hogs the tv and falls asleep after he gets it, and how his booming laughter fills up the entire room, and how he'd sit in the garden, with his t-shirt obscenely pulled up over his tummy and just weed the afternoon away and come in all sunburnt.

I miss coming home from uni, and complaining to my mother about this and that and how she'd boil me some special bitter healthy special soup when it's that time of the month, and how she still treats me like her little girl when I'm sick, and push my hair behind my ears, which was how she discovered that I had secretly gone out and gotten so many piercings without her permission.

I miss the smell of Tai Kor's perfume, and how he comes home and just sometimes randomly talks to me about the most random stuff ever.

I miss Evelyn and how she's such a sister to me, and a young one at that, one I can talk to about almost anything. I miss how she'd always tease me, and how I'd always tease her back, and how kind and amazing she is.

I miss Yee Kor, and him coming back from work, going "Come here, Wen" and just enveloping me in one of the tightest bear hugs ever.

I miss Yee Soh and her phenomenal mother instinct and her genuine concern and care for me, and how she's like Evelyn, like another sister to me, and how we'd always find something to gossip or chat about, and how she always looks so beautiful and stylish despite being a mother of three.

I miss my darling, awesome sister who treats me like such an adult, yet at the same time pampers me like I was her daughter, and how we'd go out and have girly days together and get our hair done, and go Christmas shopping, and she'd bring me to this and that and ask my opinion on what colour drapes she should get for her new house, and how she just loves me so much.

I miss Kelvin. Strange, but true.

I miss the kids so, so, so badly. Joel, Aaron, Josh, Vanessa and Amelia. I miss them so much, how they'd hug me tightly, and plant a wet sloppy kiss on my cheek, and beg me to play Monopoly with them, and bug me to bring them to the park, and how they'd always fight over the tv with me, and how they just come home from school and tell me about all their little friends and what they did doing recess that day or something like that.

I miss my darling girlfriends and running over to any one of their houses and just talk about anything and everything under the goddamn sun. I miss their nicknames for me, and how we could spend an entire day together just lazing around, doing nothing. I miss having them just understand how I'm feeling, or what I'm going to say. I miss doing crazy things like having girly sleepovers where we discuss boys and never ever sleep, and even when we finally do, we stick Post-Its on Ching and Sukkwan's foreheads before finally forcing ourselves to go to sleep.

I miss teasing Jo Weng and having him listen to me rant about god-knows-what and singing along with him in his little Atos as we zip along the roads of PJ. I miss his vanity and cheesecakes and patience and good-nature.

I miss Nick and our Man Utd talks and might even possibly miss his lame, retarded jokes and how he likes to tease me all the time.

I miss Ming's funny deadpan expressions when he's being sarcastic and how we always threaten him whenever he teases or insults us.

I miss showering Wenxue with sarcastic remarks and teaming up with him in pool and losing remarkably by a huge difference to whoever we're playing against.

I miss the 6 Yakin gang - Sharm, Manda, Karen and Mun Fong - and all their infectious knee-slapping laughter, and nights at the mamak where we try to psycho-analyse people, and playing cards in some restaurant somewhere, and making the most noise possible, and playing Taboo with them.

I miss stupid Pang Wei Soon whom I haven't seen for a year and a half because he comes back in the middle of the year, and probably won't see him for another half year.

I miss Paul and seeing how different he looks last time and reminiscing with him about secondary school days.

I miss blur sotong Andrew and him realising that we've teased him thirty seconds after we're done.

I miss clubbing with the gang.

I miss drinking sessions where we generate enough laughter to wake the whole of friggin' SS2 up and play silly big-fish-small-fish games that can make us giggle the whole night through just because Ming said big-smish.

I miss mamaks, especially Murni's and their specials and Roti Hawaii and Maybank Mamak for their Nasi Lemak Ayam.

I miss the Proton Wira I used to drive, which now my dad says is all mine because he got a new car and doesn't need to hog mine all the time because he "needed it for the market" when we all knew it was his way of just not letting me drive -_-

I miss lugging out my mom's mixer from the cabinet and sifting flour, and measuring ingredients and baking for the family, and having the whole house smell like cookies or cakes and the kids constantly getting into my hair by wanting to help me.

I miss just going to the pasar malam, and taking in all the sights and lights and different smells and stalls.

I miss the Sahara field and basketball nights with the basketball gang.


I miss home.


I have missed everything there is to miss and more about Malaysia, home sweet home.



Either way, I'm going to miss so much.

Life is difficult, no?

I HATE THIS.

Why must we check our results online?

It's out. But I can't bring myself to log in.

HATE. HATE. HATE.



ETA: The stupid WES shit finally let me get my butt into the system, and all is good. :)

Yes, five days just flew past like that because the Gold Coast was just too damn awesome. The place is gorgeous and the company was fantastic. The sun, the rides, the crazy girls, the...surfers. :P More on it later with the million photos we took because you definitely need visual aids!

Up next Sydney! Will be meeting up with the rest there later but as of now, I'm waiting in the Coolangatta airport now to catch my flight to Sydney. Sigh. An hour more. And I'm dead bored. Internet costs 2 dollars for twenty minutes. -_- Stupid cut throat netkiosk.

Exams were...pretty bad. I had a nightmare that I failed Tax Law with a 49. And it felt so bloody real that I woke up feeling scared and deep-shittish.

Okay well, credit's running out. Talk to you guys later.

I hate exams. Taxation Law tomorrow and I still feel as lost as ever. Three hours for three questions. Gulp.

And I just found out that there's no half hour reading and noting time like there was for Business Law. Double gulp. Just ten minutes reading time. No way in hell is that enough.

I wish I was still back in primary school, and could snuggle up under my smelly white kid blanket and...well, NOT do Tax Law.

Oh well. We all have to grow up some time. Unfortunately.


ETA: To make it worse, I'm in the library, trying to type up some stuff for Tax Law, and this guy a computer away is streaming this new TVB series. :( The Ultimate Crime Fighter. Omg, why is he so free? I want to watch tooooo.

And this girl opposite me just told her friend, "Oh well, I already finished law."

:'(



ETA2: It's been 2 hours and 7 minutes since I posted and that stupid guy is still watching The Ultimate Crime Fighter. Doesn't he have exams to study for? I hate him. :(

Sigh.

Back to classes again tomorrow, and it feels like such a complete drag. I've got three days a week again this semester. Allocate Plus actually gave me a two day week, but that would mean an insane, crazy, jam-packed two days, and me being a complete pig for the other five days, so I changed it.

I'm not looking forward to the two third-year units at all. Especially Taxation Law. Law units and me, we don't have a good relationship.

It was raining insanely today, the heaviest I've ever experienced in Melbourne. Thankfully I didn't have classes today like poor Mel and Zhen Han. Rain in Melbourne usually means a sprinkle here, a splash there; nothing like the downright pouring we have back at home, coupled with the scary lightning and rumbling thunder. But today, for the first time, I heard thunder. Lol. I don't know why I'm so surprised, but I just am. Because of the rain, I slept in till half past noon today, heh (Aside from the five minutes where I heard Mel banging on Zhen Han's door to wake him up for their this morning's lecture, lol). I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight and wake up in time for the 9 a.m. Company Reporting lecture. 9 a.m.! UGH.

I don't know whether it's my imagination, but winter seems to be easing up a little. We've actually had a pretty sunny past couple of days, today aside. Technically, about a month and two weeks left of winter, and I can't wait.

All of us in the house are suddenly coming down with a case of homesickness. Everyone wants to go home. Those who were planning to stay for another year are having second thoughts, those who wanted to stay back after the semester to travel are thinking twice. Oh well. I suppose it'll pass. When we're faced with the looming date of going home at the end of the year, we'll probably feel conflicted. Time's passing so quickly, and a semester's already down, and before we know it, it'll be time to pack up and go home.

I have to go to sleep. Like, right now. Or else I'm never going to wake up in time tomorrow morning. Just realised that this post was way random and that my thoughts are jumping all over the place, and that I'm probably coming off more depressed than I actually am. But hey, you can't blame for being depressed when classes start tomorrow, yuck.

Do you know what's as bad as being sick?

Having the hot water completely run out and taking a freezing shower because there's still conditioner in your hair that you haven't washed off. Oh, and to make things even more fun, all this at 12 degrees Celcius. And while you're possibly not 100% recovered from your 3-in-1 flu, fever and sore throat.

WTF.

Gee, thanks, stupid water heater system/whatever. I officially hate you.

Financial Management tomorrow, Money & Caps on Tuesday, AIS/Financial Modeling on Wednesday, and finally, Cost Info for Decision-Making on Friday, and I'll be a happy, happy girl at exactly 12:30 p.m., Friday.

Till then, this blog will be napping. Zzz.

P/S: I think I finally got over my driving-other-people's-cars-phobia today. Hee. Serena made requested me to drive her to campus for her Trade Finance paper today. You all know how I don't like to drive other people's cars, right? Well, it went fine. Except for that teeny oversteer, and I think I gave her a heart attack. But that teensy factor aside, it was a-okay. Yay me.

Okay, so I thought I'd finally put you all out of your misery of having to see my cam-whoring pictures of me in my new dress at the top of the page and thought I'd post pictures of my lunch with my brother, Su and the kids. But as usual, nothing is going the way I'd like it to. Internet is incredibly shitty and...

I AM SICK.

Flu and sore throat and fever, could you please kindly leave my body? It would be best appreciated. I will give you triple chocolate chip cookies if you do.

With love,
Wendy.

I hate that I always fall sick during exam periods. Wtf. Am I really that stressed out? HATEEEE. Nothing went into my head today. My head hurts. My throat hurts. And now my nose hurts from blowing too much. I was feeling a little better after dinner and the soup which Zhen Han's mom made for us, but now it's back to feeling bad again.

Financial Management is on Friday. I'm so screwed. Does anyone have any good remedies for flu? Sore throat? Fever? Anyone? *makes very sad-looking puppy dog eyes*

Okay, those of you who know me well enough should probably know that I cry easily. At everything. Not full on crying, wailing, pull-my-hair-out tantrums, but just yeah, tearing up a little. I fully blame my mother, who is known to cry buckets at TVB dramas.

I cried tears equivalent to the Klang River when I left for Australia. [Okay, so this one was more than tearing. This was really crying.]

I teared up a little everytime my mum called for the first few weeks.

I cry at One Tree Hill when Nathan said his extremely sweet vows at the wedding, when Haley got into that car accident, when Jake left.

I cry at Grey's Anatomy when Denny died, when Jane Doe/Ava (I refuse to call her Rebecca because that's not right) left, when the patient of the week dies/survives. Yes, I cry happy tears too.

I tear up when I watch Youtube clips of Manchester United and Gary lifting the EPL.

I cry at Heroes. Even though it's so action-packed and exciting and mysterious and I can't for the life of me remember what on earth there is for me to cry about right now off the top of my head, but yes, I cry at that too.

I cry at TVB. Like mother, like daughter.

I cry everytime I watch A Walk to Remember (which I have watched a lot of times, actually).

Dammit, I even cried at Brother Bear, and Joseph laughed at me. -_-

*

So, I just saw Evelyn, my big sis-in-law (Haha, she will so kill me if she knows I just referred to her as the big sis-in-law, but shhh, she doesn't have to know :P) online for the first time. Yay. Had a super long conversation about home, and she supplied me with my daily dose of crazy-Tan-clan gossip. And then, right before she goes, she tells me, "Wen, really miss you much. Remember how we used to chase all the chinese dramas like crazy every night...now I don't even watch anymore...not so fun already."

I think you can guess what I did, right? Lol.

I miss Eve so much.


My built-in cam-whore buddy...


...built-in person to go to...


...built-in conspiracy buddy for my sneaking out in the wee hours.


...an extra built-in sister at home. How I miss you so!




Yes, I know, I am such a ball of blubbering... blub. Tsk tsk and all that jazz.

*

Seeing Su Lin outside the Lecture Theatre today...

Me: Hey, not going home yet?

Su Lin: Nope, waiting for my housemate first.

Me: Okay then, see you later.

Su Lin: Bye!

(Tricia and I walk away and once Su Lin is out of earshot, Tricia nudges me conspicuously)

Tricia: (slowly) Did she just say she was waiting for her husband?

Me: ...(bursts into laughter) Noooo, she said housemate! I so passed on my deafness to you!

LOL.

And very random, but guys in skinny jeans need to be fined. Omg. I cannot stand it. No, just..NO.

*

And this here is a special shoutout to Ms. Lee Man Teng who turned twenty yesterday! Hope you had fun, biatch. Love ya! :)

Today is a bad day. And I'm not saying that because MU didn't win the FA Cup. It was just bad, period.

I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. But I can't even do that in my own room.

...I want my mommy. :( And people suck.

One more Cost Info Assignment to go. 20%, due next Friday, but we're trying to finish it early so that we can go for the MEX end of sem party. Oh well, we'll see how that goes. Got another discussion later, hopefully we get the bulk of it done today. Everyone seems to be in the nearing-exam-buzz already. Almost everyone turns up for tutorials these days, and lectures are also a bit fuller. Everyone's getting assignment grades back, mid-sem exam marks back. I did relatively okay, praise God, so meaning I can breathe a little bit easier. Not a lot easier, but just a teeny bit.

Since I have a lot of random things on my mind, I'll make a random list. Lists are...fun, sometimes? You know you like them.

1. I wonder if I can get an internship through CPA for the end of the year. If I can't, anyone know a way to get one? Do I email the companies?

2. I really don't have enough time on my hands to baby someone through something. Grow up, your attitude is disgusting.

3. Okay, so some people are better actors than the rest. Kudos to you. But also, contrary to your belief, we're not stupid. So, yeah. Sucks to you.

4. I miss my family. One more week till my brother and his family come. I called back the other day, and my mum told me my brother got promoted. I'm so proud of him and happy for him, because he's been so successful with his job; holding such a high position at a young age. So I called him to congratulate him, and talked to Joel and Josh as well. Joel straight away went, "I miss you Wen Kor. When can I see you again? *pause* Can I play with you when I come to Australia?" He is going to be such a heartbreaker when he grows up.

5. I miss my chi mui family (Okay lah, guys, consider yourself chi muis also okay, it's easier that way. LOL.). Things are different without you here with me. I also really hate lowlife, nothing-better-to-do idiots who make their lives difficult. Go do us a favour and die far far. Like really far. In North Pole or something.

6. FA Cup final tomorrow! And gasp, national Aussie TV is actually showing the LIVE match! *dons imaginary Man Utd jersey because I still can't afford one*

7. I am so dead broke. Could June come any faster so that my allowance comes? My dad banks in money once in two months, and you could probably tell which month is the first and which is the second, because I tend to shop a lot in the first month and live miserly in the second. Heh. I'm so horrible with finances.

8. I hate the sloooooow Internet here. And the rain. And how it gets dark so early here. Omg, sunset today is at 5:27 p.m. according to Weatherzone. So early.

9. Looks can be very deceiving. Do not let an innocent face deceive you into thinking otherwise. Time and time again, the wool has been pulled over our eyes. You think you know, but you have no idea.

10. Okay, I'm feeling very bitchy with all these negative thoughts I'm having on this list. Lol. So, there shall be a number eleven...

11. I'm very thankful for the new friends I've made here. And the old friends that I've gotten to know better. Some of these people I've know in the past, maybe just hi-bye friends, or mere acquaintances, but I've grown closer to a lot of you in these months, and I'm very thankful. You all better feel the same way. :P

*

Mr. Ravinda is officially the funniest tutor ever. He wins. LOL. I so enjoy Thursday mornings from 10-11 a.m. because of him.

*

Rest in peace, Pohpoh. I love you. And I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you for the last time. I hate that I'm all the way here and didn't get to see you.

Mum says she asked about me the day before she passed away. About how I was coping here alone and things like that. I'm already missing her dearly.

Lord, keep me strong. I need to study and do my assignments, and I need you to give me strength.

Okay, so Big Bad Week 7 with two assignments and the mid-sem exam is finally over. Phew. And then, straight after that, we gave the house a HUGE cleaning because we kinda abandoned it for that week and the week before that. Heh.

As usual, I'm blogging in spurts. Periods of which I blog once every two days, and then I go weeks before I blog. Oopsies. My bad for leaving you with Wei Soon's etiquette inadequecies at the top of the page for so long. :P

So anyways, nothing much as happened except that I rewarded myself with some shopping therapy and chatted with a cute cashier in the mall. It's been back to classes, back to looming assignment due dates and more mid-sem exams. Got another assignment due on May 7th, another due on May 25th, and then Financial Management mid-sem exam on May 1st. And then my brother and his family are coming on May 26th, till the 9th of June.

Finals timetable's out.

Financial Management, 8th June
Money and Capital Markets, 12th June
Accounting Information Systems and Financial Modelling, 13th June
Cost Information for Decision Making, 15th June

Not that bad, a week's period of exam, Tricia and Joachim got worse deals than this. You know, I was marking all the dates on my calendar and after marking the last paper, I thought to myself, 'Yay, I finish just in time so we can go out and celebrate Mary's birthday'. And then, I remember I'm all the way here. -_-

So yeah, when finals timetables are out, it sorta gives you that feeling. I'm not going to try to describe it because I'm sure you all know what I mean, plus, I'm not feeling very eloquent today because it's 9:20 in the morning. Lol. Anzac day today, meaning no classes, so it's a full day for me to stay at home and study. GAH.

*

Pohpoh's not well. She hasn't been well for the past two weeks and it scares me every time I get a call or text on my Malaysian line. Every e-mail from my family members updates me on her condition and everytime it's been getting worse. Doctors say she doesn't have much time left. My mom and brother went down to Singapore to see her, and they say she's suffering. And I don't really know what to do. I don't really know what I can do. Probably nothing, and that really sucks. It's been in the back of my mind throughout the past two weeks, and amidst all the academic stress, and I just needed to let that all out.

And also, the news about Virginia Tech really scares me. To think that guns are so easily accessible, and that a person with previous mental instability could purchase one just like that. And for him to plan it all so meticulously; to record his manifesto in the form of a video, and to walk to the post office in between his first and second shootings to mail it to NBC. It's so deranged; it all seems like he'd been planning it for ages. Imagine being barricaded off in classrooms and just shot at. The people who died were all people with bright futures, double-degree students, students about to graduate in May, students who were heavily involved in charity, and it's such a shame. And that lecturer, who died because threw himself in front of the gunman to shield his students and give them time to climb out of the window. It brought a tear to my eye because in times of desperation like these, you could be the most generous person on the planet, but human nature and reflex actions strike, and then you save your own ass first. But in the space of a millisecond, probably, this professor chose to save his students.

It's been hailed as the bloodiest shooting rampage in the modern American world. And yet, people are still standing by the right to carry guns. They claim it's their freedom. Sure, yes, it gives crazed people the freedom to gun the bright young adults of your country down. Go figure.
Although it happened so far away, I don't know why it hits so close to home.

Lik Xiong, Dong, rest of you guys in US, please take care, kay? See you guys at the end of the year.

Those who perished in the Virginia Tech shooting, rest in peace.

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Happy Birthday to Ms. Chong Pek Wah, turning the big two-oh yesterday! Hugs, babe. (:

Plus, another big happy birthday to Ms. Kwong Poh Yee, turning twenty today! When we celebrating, babe? ;)

P/S: OMG, I've been so addicted to TVB. Just finished watching Dicey Business. Someone stop me, eek.

...was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. It's been quite awhile, but I'd still like to blog on it. I know I'm going to be all kinds of emotional while typing this all out, but I'd still like to do it. Regardless. So I can look back and remember it all. But that's really the point of blogging, no?

I was in Singapore for Gong Gong's funeral till Tuesday afternoon, and then we rushed back to PJ. Stopped by in Negeri Sembilan for dinner at one of the Chinese restaurants there. My dad said it was kind of my farewell dinner with my entire family, so he let me choose my favourite dishes. Aww. He doesn't say it because that generation of fathers don't usually, but I know he really really loves me. As do I.

We had sweet and sour pork, and kangkung belacan. My choice. Yum.

Dinner was good. And I was fighting back tears. It had been a long, hard day. I had been crying since the early morning, since the funeral parade, and the cremation parlour, and then the dinner. If I had managed to make it back to PJ that night, it would have been more tears, because Ching left that night, and I would have cried even more at the airport, even though we're leaving to the same place. Don't laugh at my crying habits lahhhh.

It's not possible for my tear ducts to dry up.

ANYWAYS. Yeah, came back and went over to Ching's house where they went back to after sending her off because Ming needed me to bring a USB cable for her, and because they needed to fetch Emily home too. It was strange, you know, to be sitting around on the couch in Ching's house, without her there.

Mary, Nick and Ming left to Murni's while Siokkwan, Jo and I left to have what would be one of the funniest nights we've had in a long time. I seriously have not laughed like that in ages. The three of us got into the car and literally, and I mean literally exploded with laughter till our sides almost split. Remember the Li Chun/De Shun debacle? You can read it in all of it's embarassing glory here.

Wednesday was spent packing, packing and packing. I hate packing. DESPISE. I am the kind of wishy-washy person who likes to bring anything because "I might need it when I'm there". When Ching and I went to India last year, we were told it was winter, and I still brought one of my skirts because "I might need it when I'm there".

*glares at laughing people*

Whaaaaaaaaat? Who knows, right. Better safe than sorry. :P

Went to the Digital Mall with Sioki and her classmates to get my last minute computer stuff - mouse for laptop, empty CDs, things like that. Sioki and I came back to hang out in my messy, stuff-strewn-all-over-the-place-because-I'm-packing room for one last time. Us girls, we've hung out in my room so often over the past few years.

John came over after that, with KFC nuggets. Aww.

Relatives came over that night. My aunty, and my grandparents. And my entire immediate family. We had my last home-cooked dinner, which they jokingly called my last supper. I lost it again during grace, where my sis-in-law prayed for my year in Australia. For those of you who don't know yet, I'm super close to my family. I adore them and would do anything for them. So, yeah. That was hard.

What was even harder, was when they went back home. When my brother engulfed me in his arms and told me that the person he missed most when he went to Australia 18 years ago, was me. I was only one then. When my sister hugged me and said that she will miss me like mad. When each one of the kids came up to me and hugged the stuffing out of me.

Joel: (in a serious tone) Wen Kor, take care of yourself in Australia, kay? Please don't swim in the sea. (dramatic pause) Got a lot of sharks one you know.

After they all went back, I resumed packing, till about 11 when the gang came over. Sharm, Manda and Karen. Sioki, Jo, Ming, Suki, Mary, and Nick. We hung out in the padang, just chatting. About nothing in particular. And that's what I love about them. That we can just go on for hours and hours about nothing in particular. And it felt damn comfortable.

Left to the mamak where I had my last Roti Hawaii for the year. Omg. How I miss the Roti Hawaii. And Murnis. And Maybank mamak. And nasi lemak ayam.

Oy, you people back home, please appreciate your local mamak. Thankyouverymuch.

Went home at about 2 in the morning, knowing I would fly in eight hours time, and continued packing. It's a never-ending process. Ick. Packed while transferring Heroes and ANTM from Jo to my laptop so that I wouldn't be bored down to my toes whilst I'm here. Packed. Packed. Packed somemore. I seriously wouldn't advise last-minute packing, because it was horrible.

I was packing right till the gang came back again at like... 5:45 a.m., was it? Here's the deal. Students are allowed 30 kg of luggage. Fine. So I finally zipped up my bag and weighed it and...

OMFG. 60 KG.

I am completely a bloody idiot.

Panicking, I got down on my knees and started unpacking frantically. Took out about half the stuff like a madwoman, zipped it up and weighed it again.

Still TOO MUCH.

Ack. Although it broke my heart, I took out some more pretty tops. Zipped it up again, and Ming, taking pity on me, helped me heft my bag onto the scale again.

Ming: (long pause) Ey, Wen ar, you're allowed 30 kg, right? Not 30 lbs, right?
Me: (even longer pause) OMGARGHHHHHI'MSUCHANIDIOT!!!

I had initally seen 60 LBS. Not 60 KG. Which meant my luggage WASN'T OVERWEIGHT in the first place.

-_-"

I am stupid. That is all.

I wanted to knock my head against the nearest wall.

Threw everything back into the bag, zipped it up and loaded it into the boot. And then it was time for goodbyes. Hate.

I was crying like a baby as I made my way down the line and hugged everyone and said bye. Thankfully all of them held back their tears (either that, or they weren't very sad to see me leave, lol), or I would've been worse.

Sioki, Nick and Ming came with me to the airport; the rest had class. And I'm glad they came. They took my mind off the actual leaving. Had breakfast at McDs and a super random conversation that I don't remember much. Something about a McDs ad or something like that. The three of them together are unstoppable. Nick contributes lame-ness and Ming and Sioki contributes unnecessary creativity. Lol.

Then it was time.

The number of times I remember seeing my dad cry - probably less than three, maybe. One of the times was when he gave my sister away at the altar during her wedding. And the other time, was when I hugged him at the airport before going down the escalator.

The escalator was pretty torturous. Because you can actually feel yourself getting further and further away from them. And then I reached the bottom and I probably shouldn't have turned back, but I did, and that made things worse. But then, thank God for friends like these. Nick, standing there, waving the McDs paper, Sioki and Ming pointing to it. Made me smile amidst my tears. The tears didn't stop coming, but still, being able to smile was good.

At least I didn't go alone. Having YK, Mel, Sook Yan and Jonathan telling me not to cry helped. I would probably have been a wreck flying alone. I don't know how the four of them stayed so composed throughout leaving either. I wish I could've been.

Boarded the plane and read the letters from Sioki, Mary and Nick on the plane cause they told me too. Made me feel even more emo, if that was even possible.

Slept quite a bit during the flight, watched an episode of the Office, and Employee of the Month, and half of Lovewrecked. At least MAS has all this stuff for you to watch. Pretty big selection. Indian Airlines had nothing, I remember. So booooooring.

Got off the plane, and got through customs okay. Funniest bit was during the baggage claim. YK and Mel went off to get the bags while I stayed by the trolley and guarded the hand luggage and laptops. My bag was sooooo incredibly heavy that YK couldn't lift it off the conveyor belt no matter how hard he tried. He tugged and tugged, and the bag just kept on moving and moving on the belt. Hee. Some good strong Samaritan helped him pull it off the belt after that. Haha. YK, buff up a bit lah. =p

Mel's friends picked the both of us up, while YK went off to Clayton. The weather was great. Not too cold. They dropped us off at our now previous-house, and omg, it was a horrible first impression. Not that it isn't still horrible, but fresh off the plane, all tired, and seeing the awful house; it was BADDD.

It was dirty, and dusty. The floors were wooden and creaky. There's this one spot on the floor in my room, that if you step on it, the entire cupboard vibrates. The walls were paper-thin. It was a creepy looking place, full stop. Disgusting. I thank my lucky stars everyday that we don't have to stay there. From the outside, it looks like a haunted house at night. No kidding.

The first night there was so, so difficult. Plus, we stay along Dandenong Road, which is a highway, so it's was/is bloody noisy. And then I had to go watch the slide show Jo gave me before I left. I tell you Mr. Lim Jo Weng, you made me cry buckets okayyyyy. Tsk.

I've been for funerals and stuff before, but this is the first one where it was someone really close to me, someone in the family, where it just hits you emotionally in places you never thought could hit you before.

I have vague memories of Gong Gong, but all of which are nothing but fond. He really was such an intelligent, alert man, always saying things to make us laugh. Buying us McDonalds, teaching me how to sing Rasa Sayang, beaming from ear to ear when my mum told him how I did in exams. It's a shame how one stroke can change all of that.

I wonder whether people really know when it's their time to leave the world. That's what you hear a lot, but I wonder whether it's really true. Guess I'll never know till it's that time. Apparently, a week ago, Gong Gong made preparations, requesting to take down certain things in the house, telling people to take care of my grandmother, things like that; and then told one of my uncles that he was going to go soon.

Having kids around really lightens the mood. They're at that stage where they don't quite comprehend the entire concept of life and death, but in a way, that's good, because it doesn't scare them as much. And you know, kids will be kids. No matter how much you tell them that you need to sit down, be quiet, all that stuff, they will still be running around, and asking taboo questions at the top of their lungs. But for me, it helped the situation a lot. Especially for my mum.

Su had probably given Joel a pep talk during the journey down, about Gong Gong dying, and being cremated and stuff like that. A very simplified version, I suppose. Immediately after reaching, and paying respects, and looking at the body, he immediately went to share his information with Aaron.

Joel: (to Aaron) You know ar, tomorrow... they are going to FIRE Tai Gong Gong!
Aaron: (wide-eyed) Wahhhh.

Aaron: (playing an alphabet game, having to name five words starting with the letter B) Err...
Me: There, when a dog makes a sound, what is that called?
Aaron: (thinks) Woof?
Me: Start with B lahhh.
Aaron: (thinks even harder) ...Boof?
Me: LOL!

Having them around really helped.

The funeral itself was the lowest point. Seeing the body for the last time before they shut the coffin, and then the 100 metre procession and to the crematorium, I just randomly teared, on and off. The cremation was particularly difficult. We all stood in the viewing parlour, behind a huge glass window, while the coffin travelled slowly to where he would be cremated. Everyone lost it then.

Gong Gong will be forever remembered for the wonderful man he was.

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