Where do I really go from here? I've already started, I've already made my choice. But what if it's not what I want? What if it doesn't get me to where I want to get? What if it doesn't help me achieve what I want? What if I bloody suck at what I trying to do now?

Choices have to be made. But somehow if I had waited, and thought long and hard about what I wanted to do, would things have been any different? Would I stand out on a black canvas background, instead of blending in like everyone else? Or would things still have been the same?

Why is it always not entirely my choice? Why do I feel like I'm whispering sometimes? My lips are moving, my voice is resonant, but my meaning is not heard. Are there tears? Because I can't see them. It's tiring, being angry.

If I had ten cents for every bloody question I had, it surely would make this confusion a whole lot easier. I wouldn't even have to give a flying flip in the first place.