I've been for funerals and stuff before, but this is the first one where it was someone really close to me, someone in the family, where it just hits you emotionally in places you never thought could hit you before.

I have vague memories of Gong Gong, but all of which are nothing but fond. He really was such an intelligent, alert man, always saying things to make us laugh. Buying us McDonalds, teaching me how to sing Rasa Sayang, beaming from ear to ear when my mum told him how I did in exams. It's a shame how one stroke can change all of that.

I wonder whether people really know when it's their time to leave the world. That's what you hear a lot, but I wonder whether it's really true. Guess I'll never know till it's that time. Apparently, a week ago, Gong Gong made preparations, requesting to take down certain things in the house, telling people to take care of my grandmother, things like that; and then told one of my uncles that he was going to go soon.

Having kids around really lightens the mood. They're at that stage where they don't quite comprehend the entire concept of life and death, but in a way, that's good, because it doesn't scare them as much. And you know, kids will be kids. No matter how much you tell them that you need to sit down, be quiet, all that stuff, they will still be running around, and asking taboo questions at the top of their lungs. But for me, it helped the situation a lot. Especially for my mum.

Su had probably given Joel a pep talk during the journey down, about Gong Gong dying, and being cremated and stuff like that. A very simplified version, I suppose. Immediately after reaching, and paying respects, and looking at the body, he immediately went to share his information with Aaron.

Joel: (to Aaron) You know ar, tomorrow... they are going to FIRE Tai Gong Gong!
Aaron: (wide-eyed) Wahhhh.

Aaron: (playing an alphabet game, having to name five words starting with the letter B) Err...
Me: There, when a dog makes a sound, what is that called?
Aaron: (thinks) Woof?
Me: Start with B lahhh.
Aaron: (thinks even harder) ...Boof?
Me: LOL!

Having them around really helped.

The funeral itself was the lowest point. Seeing the body for the last time before they shut the coffin, and then the 100 metre procession and to the crematorium, I just randomly teared, on and off. The cremation was particularly difficult. We all stood in the viewing parlour, behind a huge glass window, while the coffin travelled slowly to where he would be cremated. Everyone lost it then.

Gong Gong will be forever remembered for the wonderful man he was.

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