Beautifully Imperfect.

I'm Alive.

australia Monday, February 12, 2007

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Jo, Siokkwan and I crashed a party today. By accident. And let me tell you, it was one of the funniest, strangest experiences I've had. LOL. I don't think I can put it down all in words, but I'll try.

It all started on Sunday night, where we were hanging out in SS2, when Siokkwan suddenly received a phone call. It was De Shun (who by the way, is mine and Jo's Form 5 classmate, and is also the son of a teacher in our school for all of you who don't know. Her name is Pn. Fee. Why this is important, you might not see now, but you'll see later, I promise), inviting her to his farewell party. He told her that he was leaving for Monash soon, and invited her to his farewell on Tuesday night. Fine. She hung up, told us and the topic was done with. Soon after, Ching received the same call, and had almost the same kind of conversation as Siokkwan did.

Siokkwan: Eh, De Shun invite you to his farewell right?
Ching: Yeah, he said he's going Monash, so I told him I'll see him there 'cause I'm leaving on that night ma.

Okay. Topic closed again.

So today, after Siokkwan, Jo and the rest of the gang sent Ching off at the airport, and after I came back from Singapore, we decided to go for De Shun's farewell party for a short while. Before we left, we wondered a little about the party.

Siokkwan: He told me to invite you guys because he said he doesn't have your numbers wor.
Me: But me and Jo are his classmates wor, how come he got your number but don't have ours one?
Jo: Yalah, so weird one.

Never mind. Three of us piled into Jo's car and went off to Taman Mayang to look for De Shun's house.

Siokkwan: I smsed him to tell him that we're on the way there, then he msged back and said that he cutting cake wor.
Jo: Cake? It's his birthday meh?
Wen: No wor. De Shun's birthday is twenty something December one, I think. Maybe farewell cake kua.

Finally, we found the house and while Jo was in the midst of parking, it hit us.

Siokkwan: Eh, we never buy anything for him leh.
Jo: Oh yeah! Quite bad right, go for his farewell and never buy anything?
Wen: Eh, let's go and buy something now lah weih.
Siokkwan: Yalar, just a card will do lah.

Zoomed off to near Williams to buy a card, where the bookstore was almost closing.

Jo: After suddenly De Shun call us and say, 'I thought I saw you in front of my house already? Where you all went?' (everyone laughs)
Siokkwan: No lah, we tell them they saw wrong car lah, hee hee.

Rushed down to buy a farewell card for De Shun, and wrote messages in the card and all, addressed it nicely to De Shun, and left again for the house, while for some reason, Siokkwan kept on laughing at the fact that I wrote the 'Shun' bigger than the 'De'.

After parking, we walked to the gate and looked inside, and all the people who were there were all people from 5 Bunga Raya (which is also Siokkwan's class), and not 5 Cempaka, which Jo, De Shun and I were all from.

Me: Eh Jo, De Shun in our class one wat, how come none of the 5C people here one?
Jo: Dunno lah.

As we went in, the whole big bunch of 5 Bunga Raya guys were leaving, and Li Chun let us in.

Siokkwan: (to Li Chun) Hey Li Chun, where's De Shun ar?
Li Chun: (preoccupied with the group of guys leaving; he mumbled something incoherent)
Me: (watching the group of guys say bye to 'Auntie', wondering why it wasn't Pn. Fee) Eh Siokkwan, Puan Fee leh?
Siokkwan: Oh yeah hor.
Jo: (peeking into the kitchen, starting to get worried; grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me to one side) Where's he? Are we in the right place?
Me: (peeking upstairs, starting to get worried too) Dunno weihh.
Siokkwan: (for the second time to Li Chun; getting worried AND confused) Eh, Li Chun, where's De Shun ar?
Li Chun: (confused) De Shun? I didn't invite him also.

OH. MY. GODDDDD.

UH. OH. CRAP.

I'm pretty sure those thoughts were running through Jo's and Siokkwan's mind, because that's what was running through mine. LOL!

Sound of the name 'Li Chun' + Sound of the name 'De Shun' = Super big mix-up.

Suddenly, it all made superb sense! Why De Shun didn't have Jo's and my number and had Siokkwan's although he was closer to us both, why there weren't any Cempakians at the party, why Pn. Fee wasn't there at all, why De Shun was cutting a cake although his birthday was in December, why De Shun was going to Monash although he initially told me that he probably wouldn't apply to Monash or something like that.

It ALL MADE SENSE THEN.

Because it WAS NOT DE SHUN. It was LI CHUN!

OMGLOL!

You guys should have seen the looks on the three of our faces and watched us trying super hard not to laugh and trying to hide the card with the super big 'De Shun' on it. It would have been bloody priceless, I tell you. Everytime Jo looked at me and Siokkwan, he would start giggling, and so he ended up looking everywhere except the both of us, and finally left to go to the toilet so he could laugh inside there. I was laughing into my pizza. And Li Chun's sister came into the kitchen and was like, 'why they keep on laughing one?'

OMG. Biggest mix-up. EVER.

We finally told Li Chun, and luckily he was okay with it, and we stayed, chatted for a bit, caught up with each other, and left with a damn hilarious memory.

I tell you, the things we manage to do. Hee.

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Lowest Lows.

goodbye Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I've been for funerals and stuff before, but this is the first one where it was someone really close to me, someone in the family, where it just hits you emotionally in places you never thought could hit you before.

I have vague memories of Gong Gong, but all of which are nothing but fond. He really was such an intelligent, alert man, always saying things to make us laugh. Buying us McDonalds, teaching me how to sing Rasa Sayang, beaming from ear to ear when my mum told him how I did in exams. It's a shame how one stroke can change all of that.

I wonder whether people really know when it's their time to leave the world. That's what you hear a lot, but I wonder whether it's really true. Guess I'll never know till it's that time. Apparently, a week ago, Gong Gong made preparations, requesting to take down certain things in the house, telling people to take care of my grandmother, things like that; and then told one of my uncles that he was going to go soon.

Having kids around really lightens the mood. They're at that stage where they don't quite comprehend the entire concept of life and death, but in a way, that's good, because it doesn't scare them as much. And you know, kids will be kids. No matter how much you tell them that you need to sit down, be quiet, all that stuff, they will still be running around, and asking taboo questions at the top of their lungs. But for me, it helped the situation a lot. Especially for my mum.

Su had probably given Joel a pep talk during the journey down, about Gong Gong dying, and being cremated and stuff like that. A very simplified version, I suppose. Immediately after reaching, and paying respects, and looking at the body, he immediately went to share his information with Aaron.

Joel: (to Aaron) You know ar, tomorrow... they are going to FIRE Tai Gong Gong!
Aaron: (wide-eyed) Wahhhh.

Aaron: (playing an alphabet game, having to name five words starting with the letter B) Err...
Me: There, when a dog makes a sound, what is that called?
Aaron: (thinks) Woof?
Me: Start with B lahhh.
Aaron: (thinks even harder) ...Boof?
Me: LOL!

Having them around really helped.

The funeral itself was the lowest point. Seeing the body for the last time before they shut the coffin, and then the 100 metre procession and to the crematorium, I just randomly teared, on and off. The cremation was particularly difficult. We all stood in the viewing parlour, behind a huge glass window, while the coffin travelled slowly to where he would be cremated. Everyone lost it then.

Gong Gong will be forever remembered for the wonderful man he was.

*

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Life Lost.

goodbye Saturday, February 03, 2007

So, umm, like I told Jo a couple of days ago, this post would be my two hundredth post in this blog, marking two years and a month of blogging. I had a whole featurette thing planned out. But for me, there is no better way to mark this than to dedicate this to my grandfather. It sounds silly, typed out like this, but yes. That's what I'm using this post for.

Gong Gong passed away this morning, at the age of 84, in his sleep.

Out of all my grandparents, he was the one I was closest to, and although in recent years, he had a stroke, and lost his speech, to me, he was still the same man who taught me to sing lullabies and bought my other cousins and I Happy Meals for lunch whenever we visited him.

For years, he was the healthiest man of his age around. He still drove everywhere, went to the market in the mornings. I think a couple of you guys even met him when he came down for my brother's wedding in 2003. He was extremely alert, and healthy, and knowledgeable. And suddenly, shortly after I got my SPM results in March 2005, he had that stroke. It was bad. He bordered on death then, but he pulled through, but he lost many of the things he used to be able to do. He'd lost coherent speech. Nobody could understand what he was saying anymore. And for awhile, he'd lost mobility. And that he couldn't even recognise any of us anymore. That depressed him so much.

He called yesterday night, and it was a good night. He has some of those sometimes, where he can form actual sentences in Hakka. Most times it just comes out all jumbled, but yesterday, it was okay, and my mom said he was asking about me. He was asking about me and about my exchange program to Australia and he told me mom that he was so proud of me.

My mom got the call this morning from my cousin that he'd passed away, and she's been crying since. And so have I, on and off. It's tough to deal with. We're travelling down to Singapore and coming back to Tuesday, and I'm flying to Australia on Thursday, and I'm not packed, and I'm sad, and I'm a mess. Everything's messed up.

I just needed to get that all out. I'm sorry.

So, I guess this is me telling you all that I love you. I can be a bitch and moan and complain till the cows come home at times, and sometimes mean and sarcastic to you, but know that all the sarcasm is actually love. I love you all. You know who you are. I don't want to ever not have the chance to say it anymore.

I love you, Gong Gong. Rest in peace.

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Beautifully Imperfect.

I'm Alive.

Fits of Giggles.

Lowest Lows.

Life Lost.

I Want My Long Hair Back.

Leaving on a Jet Plane.

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